Do You Always Have To Turn The Other Cheek?
Turn the other cheek.
It’s a phrase that has been told to many who are being mistreated, bullied, or abused. It somehow feels right and honorable to allow ourselves to be mistreated without any attempt to defend ourselves. It feels good to believe that we are suffering for doing good. (Find out what is good.)
The Bible says we should “turn the other cheek,” but in what context?
As I have learned, it’s important to take in the whole counsel of God to know his character and intent so that we truly are acting rightly. 1 Corinthians 2: 11, 12 says that no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God – and we have received the Spirit of God. So let’s get to know what He thinks.
It’s common to look at the verses that feel like what we think God wants: verses about being weak and not strong, about backing down and not standing up, about putting others first and ourselves last (as though that somehow means that we should let others do whatever they want to us).
But a thorough search of Scripture reveals that God’s people only suffered at the hands of others when they had no choice.
When they were able to defend themselves or escape, they did. Let’s take a look:
Stephen was oppressed by the members of the synagogue, and rather than turn the other cheek, Stephen argued with them, and they could not stand up against the wisdom the Spirit gave him as he spoke. It was only after they seized Stephen (and even then he continued to present his defense) that Stephen was unable to escape their persecution (Acts 7).
When persecution broke out against the church in Jerusalem, they didn’t turn the other cheek; rather, they scattered throughout Judea and Samaria (Acts 8:1).
After Saul was converted, he found out about a conspiracy among the Jews to kill him, so he escaped (Acts 9: 25). When the Jews in Jerusalem tried to kill him, too, he left there, as well (Acts 9:29, 30).
In Paphos Paul was opposed and, rather than turn the other cheek, he looked straight at his opposition and said “You are a child of the devil and an enemy of everything that is right.” (Acts 13: 8, 10).
When Paul and Barnabas found out that there was a plot among the Gentiles and Jews in Iconium to mistreat and stone them, they didn’t turn the other cheek - they fled (Acts 14: 6).
In Philippi, Paul and Silas were seized and dragged to the marketplace, and they were subsequently severely flogged and thrown into prison. They had no means of escape this time, but, even then they were provided with a way out as an earthquake occurred and the prison doors flew open and their chains came loose (Acts 16: 19-26).
In Thessalonica Paul and Silas were not found at the house where the “bad characters” looked for them and, as soon as they could escape the city, they did (Acts 17:5-10).
In Corinth, when the Jews opposed Paul and became abusive, he shook out his clothes in protest and left the synagogue. He stayed on in Corinth, being encouraged by the Lord’s words to him in a vision that no one is going to attack and harm him (Acts 18: 5-10).
After the riot in Ephesus, Paul left and was going to sail for Syria but some Jews had plotted against him there, so he went through Macedonia to avoid them (Acts 20: 1-3).
When Paul was struck on the mouth in Jerusalem, he did not turn the other cheek but instead rebuked his abuser saying, “God will strike you, you whitewashed wall!” (Acts 23: 3).
When Paul went to trial before Felix, he defended himself with the truth (Acts 24: 12-18)
When Paul was sent to speak to Felix and his wife, he spoke about faith in Christ Jesus, speaking of loving your neighbor, meekness, and submission. Haha – no! Paul spoke about “righteousness, self-control, and judgment,” causing Felix to be afraid (Acts 24: 24, 25).
When Paul was before Agrippa, he defended himself (Acts 26: 2).
Look at all these examples of times that Christians did not turn the other cheek! How can we say that turning the other cheek is what we are always supposed to do?
Oh, I know, maybe because that’s what Jesus did. Well, let’s have a look:
We have all these examples of times that people didn’t turn the other cheek, but we still have to reconcile the fact that the Bible says we are to do it.
If we are to turn the other cheek, when should we do that?
Let’s look at the context of Matthew 5:38-42. Jesus said “You have heard that it was said ‘eye for eye, and tooth for tooth,’ but I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.”
“Eye for eye and tooth for tooth” is in reference to laws that people break and the restitution for them (see Exodus 21: 24, Leviticus 24: 20, and Deuteronomy 19: 21). But people had become too petty in regard to those laws. Jesus is saying that it’s not worth it to hold people to the letter of the law over petty things like a slap on the cheek, or your shirt, or an extra mile.
There are times that resisting someone just isn’t worth it. Proverbs 26: 4 says “Do not answer a fool according to his folly or you yourself will be just like him,” and 1 Corinthians doubles down on this when Paul says, “The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?” He isn’t saying that, in every context, we should allow ourselves to be wronged (obviously he isn’t saying that because we see him not allowing himself to be wronged in the above examples), but he does say that there are times that it just isn’t worth it.
So when are those times that it IS worth it? Here’s how you can know.
When it’s a pattern, it’s a problem.
If someone is continuously slapping you (verbally, metaphorically, or otherwise), Proverbs 26: 5 says “answer a fool according to his own folly or he will be wise in his own eyes.” If someone has a pattern of mistreating you, if you do not respond to his folly, he will think he is right.
And isn’t that what happens when you are mistreated and say nothing? The one who is mistreating you thinks that he’s right. And it’s so aggravating . . . and defeating. (Click here to find out what you should do instead of turning the other cheek.)
So, chin up! You don’t always have to turn the other cheek.
And next time you are told something or believe something that feels self-defeating, ask God what He says in His word, and search Scripture. You just might find that Jesus wants victory for us, not defeat.
Need some strength or confidence in yourself?
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