You’ve tried to do all the right things in your relationship… so why isn’t it getting better?

You've prayed.. You've forgiven (again and again). You've read the books: Love & Respect, The Five Love Languages, and so many other marriage books, and you’ve watched videos and sermons and read articles. You’ve followed the advice and have tried to get your spouse involved, too. Maybe you've even been to counseling or you've talked to your pastor.

And your marriage is still not getting better.

But there’s something that no one is telling you: most Christian marriage advice is designed for relationships where both people are reasonably healthy and willing to grow. If your spouse has deeper character issues (chronic anger, selfishness, emotional manipulation, narcissism, indifference, etc.), then that advice was never designed for your situation.

You don't have a marriage problem or a communication problem. There’s something deeper happening.

You Need Someone Who Has Been There — And Knows the Way Out

I'm Abigail, a licensed counselor providing relationship coaching with nearly two decades of experience helping Christians navigate exactly what you're facing.

I also know this from the inside. My own marriage gave me a front-row seat to what it feels like to pray faithfully, forgive repeatedly, and follow every piece of advice you've been given — and still watch things fail to improve.

That experience — combined with my clinical training and my faith — is exactly what I bring to every person I work with. I'm not here to give you the same advice that hasn't worked. I'm here to help you see what is actually happening, and what God is actually calling you to do about it.

You don't need to try harder. You need someone who can finally tell you the truth.

Here Are Some Honest Answers To Questions You May Have

Q: Why isn't my marriage getting better even though I've tried everything?

While most Christian marriage advice assumes both spouses are willing and emotionally healthy, when deeper character issues are present those tools simply don't apply. It's not that you haven't tried hard enough. It's that you've been given the wrong tools for your situation.

Q: How do I know if the problem is me or my spouse?

This is one of the most important questions a struggling spouse can ask. It’s also one of the hardest to answer without outside perspective. There are specific, observable signs that point clearly in one direction or the other. You deserve an honest answer, not a deflection.

Q: Is it biblical to set boundaries with a difficult spouse?

Scripture has far more to say about this than most people realize. The question is not whether boundaries are biblical, the real question is what to do when your spouse simply ignores them - which is exactly what a lot of marriage advice fails to address.

Q: Does God want me to stay in this marriage?

This question deserves a more biblically faithful answer than you have likely been given. God's Word has more nuance on this topic than most pastors preach. But the answer is much more personal than it is straight-forward.

Q: My spouse says they're a Christian, but their behavior doesn’t always show it. How can I know for sure?

You are not wrong to notice the gap between what your spouse professes and how they behave. Scripture has specific, practical guidance for exactly this situation, and it is more direct than you might expect.

Q: The Five Love Languages aren't helping. Why?

Because books like The Five Love Languages and Love & Respect were written for marriages where both partners are genuinely trying, when one spouse lacks the willingness or emotional capacity to reciprocate, no amount of speaking the right love language will create the connection you are longing for.

Q: How can I know if there is hope for change?

There are specific, observable indicators of genuine change versus temporary compliance - and knowing the difference will protect you from repeated cycles of hope and disappointment.

[Want to know more? Read: If You Think Your Spouse Is Changing, Here's How to Know →]

Let Me Show You How To Stop The Cycle of Trying and Just Start Changing

Here’s the thing: You don't need another book that tells you to try harder. You need someone who can look at your specific situation, help you understand what is really happening, and equip you with the tools that actually fit.

Feel free to start with the free eBook - it will give you immediate clarity about what's really going on in your relationship and your first concrete step toward change.

Or, if you're ready to get right to the point, schedule a coaching session and get the clarity and direction y ou need for your specific situation.

Here Is What’s Possible

Without clarity about what is really happening in your marriage, nothing changes. You continue carrying the full weight alone, second-guessing yourself, and wondering whether this is simply what God has for you. Or… with the right understanding and the right tools… something different becomes possible.

You can stop blaming yourself for something that isn't your fault.

You can respond to your spouse in ways that are spiritually faithful and personally healthy.

You can become a catalyst for genuine change in your relationship rather than a pilot trying to steer the plane by yourself.

And whether your marriage becomes great or not, you can know with confidence that you are doing what leads to peace and mutual edification as God calls you to in Romans 14:19.

That is what is waiting for you on the other end of this journey.

Are you ready?