Oftentimes we look too narrowly at Scripture passages because we want to see how we could be more of what our husbands want us to be (obedient, submissive, respectful, etc.). But those passages are there so that we can see who God wants us to be.

In 1 Samuel 25 we get to see a good wife in action.

Here’s what happens:

King David and his men are in the wilderness and have had an opportunity to live near the very wealthy man Nabal and his thousands of goats and sheep and their shepherds. Like a good neighbor, David and his men acted with integrity toward Nabal and his shepherds, never stealing anything from them nor doing them harm but, rather, providing protection for them.

It came time to shear the sheep and, knowing that it would be a festive time of plenty for Nabal, David and his men asked Nabal if he might give them some bread and water and meat.

Being the mean and selfish man that he was, he said “no way” and even made some excuses and insulted them, creating “rabbit trails” to justify his decision. (Sound like someone you’re close to?)

David was not about to tolerate this injustice, and he intended to bring justice down upon Nabal’s head himself. But Nabal’s wife, Abigail, heard about it (from one of the servants who knew that Abigail was a safe person to speak the truth to about Nabal’s wickedness).

She quickly packed up some supplies for David and his men and, without telling her husband, went out to meet them.

When she saw them, here’s what she did:

• she was humble, acknowledging the wrong that was done to David and his men

• she spoke the truth about her husband, admitting that he is wicked

• she commended David for his dedication to doing right and wanting to uphold justice

• she also gave him wise advice: to not have on his conscience the act of avenging himself because he has a God who fights for him

When her husband did wrong and put his household in danger, Abigail acted against her husband’s will to do the right thing.

With a further act of integrity, she didn’t keep it a secret from her husband but (wisely waiting until he wasn’t drunk) told him what she had done.

Her courage to speak the truth in love did something to him (upset him? tweaked his conscience? we don’t know for sure), and we are told that he had a heart attack and died about 10 days later.

Abigail’s integrity and boldness to do good brought her favor and protection from God. And her good character also made her attractive to David, a man of integrity, who brought her in to be his wife after Nabal died.

What can we learn from Abigail?

• It’s OK to admit when your husband does wrong

• Speaking the truth can change things

• It is good to uphold justice

• Vengeance is the Lord’s, so we need not avenge ourselves, but God honors our truth-telling

• Telling the truth is not vengeance

• When you can take steps to protect yourself, you should

Need some relationship advice?

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